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  • Writer's pictureKaren Bobinski



Who are you anyways? Are you really, truly "You" ?

Or are you trying to be someone you are not...whether it's because others have a pre-conceived notion about you, or influence your values and beliefs?

Straying from who you really are, or trying to conform to something you are not is depriving your soul of living your most authentic self.

You cannot be happy, if you are not being yourself. Simply put.

From the time we first become aware of our surroundings and the influencers in it

(parents, family members, caregivers, teachers, peers), we start to observe and learn and develop beliefs and values. Some serve us well, others are just not who we were meant to be. We need to learn how to shed these beliefs and values that do not align with our authentic self. And we need to do it without guilt that they do not align with our Family members and Mentors.

There is no greater freedom than the freedom to be yourself

The sheer energy involved in trying to be someone you are not, can be exhausting. It will weigh heavy on you, contribute to anxiety and even depression. It will keep you from developing and maintaining satisfying relationships and you will attract people that are not authentically part of your true tribe.

I really had no idea who I was until my 40's. yup...that's a long time on this earth trying to conform to other's opinions and beliefs. It took a lot of harsh life lessons, wins and losses, heart ache and pain, a debilitating health crisis and some deep soul searching...along with some excellent Life Coaching! ( Thanks Char!)

I can finally say I am free to be ME! and it feels AMAZING! I KNOW who I am and I am done conforming, apologizing, pretending and silencing my true thoughts and beliefs.

I don't have to fit into any particular mold, I am my own unique being - like a snowflake-one of a kind.

We are all like a snowflake - all different in our own beautiful way

when you are your true authentic self, you are confident and comfortable in your own skin, grounded and no longer scattered, and you RADIATE! Your soul shines through by the sparkle in your eyes, the warmth in your smile and your happiness!

you are no longer stressing about the perfect person you "think" you need to be...because you can just BE. It does not matter what others think of you...those that love and support you and are your "people" will embrace who you are , just as you are.

And maybe this will shake a few people may face some push back from family and friends. You may have to let go of the people in your life that do not connect with your true self. And that is okay! People come into our lives for a reason -a season - or a lifetime.

Every interaction with another human being can teach us something about ourselves. Maybe we are learning to set healthy boundaries and be true to ourselves; those lessons come from people that do not have a permanent place in our lives - they are a reason, or a season. Others will show us that it is okay to be our authentic self- and those are the keepers.

He's a keeper alright! I am free to be me at all times !

Being who you truly are is nearly effortless. You wouldn't ask a fish to be a monkey and climb a tree...but let them be a fish, and they glide smoothly through the water, with very little effort.

What is preventing you from being that free swimming fish? Are you pressured or influenced by religion, family, friends, society, social media?

Why do you try so hard to fit in? Be accepted? Perhaps you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole? Force the peg and it will damage the edges, and certainly never comfortably fit. By trying to be someone you are not, just to "fit in" or please others, you are in fact damaging who you really are...and you need to STOP.

If people in your circle do not accept who you truly, authentically are - it is time to change your circle. And while Family may not be accepting, you need not apologize for who you are...they accept you, or they don't. It is their loss if they cannot see that by being your true self - you are happy, and thriving - even if your beliefs and values do not align with theirs.

Mutual love and respect can be possible in spite of a very different view of life. And if it is not possible - your priority is caring for and protecting yourself, setting healthy boundaries and spending your energy and time with those that love, respect and accept you.

You never need to apologize for who you are ! Being YOU is not only the best gift you can give yourself, it is benefitting everyone you encounter. Putting your best, authentic self forward for others will ultimately enrich all your relationships and interactions with others, improve your career success, and allow you to fully enjoy your life and all it has to offer.

Be who you are, not who the world wants you to be !

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